handfuls of air

She is seen, and the dam breaks,

torn at the mere suggestion of her.

The hint of a thigh, a belly, a breast,

and it floods, the pressure

tearing at my skin, an animal

clawing out, a magnet yearning for

its opposite pole. The momentum

of history, the thrust of a thousand

ancestors knocking the inside of my skull,

begging continuation, to follow

the ecstatic itch that drives man forward,

the pulsing thorn in the ribs,

the through line from amoeba to us.

But this is beyond blind craving,

beyond mere possession. It wants

to devour, consume, assimilate

like a black hole swallowing a sun

until what is outside is inside forever.

There is beauty that tears at the soul to see it,

that demands worship. This impotent beast

would devour beauty. It was born yelping

in the haze of adolescence, growing

stronger with age, stronger than even

the body can stand. The catalyst

of the worst crimes of men with weak minds

who lingered too long near that horizon.

Chained by conscience but always hungry,

always testing the moral perimeter

for weakness. It knows not personhood,

it being more ancient than any person.

It deconstructs, evaluates, reconstructs

in a second dozens of people a day, its prey.

It knows neither law nor norm nor ethic,

only aching desire, again and again.

It seeks, vigilant, finding its target

everywhere, always one in a crowd:

the girl uniquely perfect. Imagination

is too weak to have conjured

this particular configuration, this electric

dopamine glance igniting depthless longing.

A smile, a laugh, and I'm there with her

in a cascade of glittering images:

the banter, the touch, the entangling

of lips and limbs and lives until

we're flooded with each other,

and she deserves it all,

endless pleasure for effortless beauty.

I know all thrill dies with habit.

I know beauty is not goodness.

I know an inward beauty exists

unknown to the beast. I know

all beauty fades. Of course, of course.

But if it blooms for a moment

- arbitrary, unchosen, fragile -

it earns eternal life.